Fix You
by Hope Brandon
Summary: Sandy is gone away for a while. Kirsten still has drinking problems and Seth is finding it hard to cope. What does he do to try and stop his mom from drinking? As usual really bad summary. Oneshot. Please R


**I was kind of feeling sad the day I wrote this so it's kind of depressing and now that I read it over I can't believe what I did! Anyway I hope you like it! Please R&R :P**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. or any of the characters also I do not own Coldplay or their song Fix You. **

…

Seth's P.O.V

He always got everything and guy his age asked for, one could call it the perfect life. A mom, dad, brother, everything was perfect, his grades, his girlfriend, his friends but he felt alone inside. Despite the fact that he had almost everything, his heart felt empty. And emptiness that couldn't be filled unless something changed.

"_Son, I have to go to Vegas for a couple weeks," his dad told him, he simply shrugged._

"_Take care of__ your mother."_

It was always the same story, take care of you mother do this, do that for him. Sure he loved his mom but sometimes he felt that she should be the one taking care of him once and a while. Maybe that was the feeling he felt inside, lack of love from a person he loved so much.

_**When you try your best but you don't succeed,  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse.**_

Ever since his mom began to have drinking problems it seemed his family became just as screwed up as she was. Not only would she not get out of bed till noon but there were always mugs and glasses that smelt like vodka or liquor hanging around the house. Despite all that, whenever his mom did come out of her room she would be totally drunk, not happy-go-lucky drunk but angry drunk.

If his dad wasn't home she would abuse him if she got the slightest bit pissed off. Sure he could defend himself but he thought it was better that she let her anger out on him rather than hurting herself more.

"_God damn it Seth!" she would yell. _

Usually he would lock himself in his room for a couple hours, listen to some depressing music, and occasionally cry. He hated the way she always yelled at him; sometimes he wished he wasn't alive. Of course she only acted this way when his dad wasn't home, his dad could control her but he couldn't, he was powerless when it came to confronting his mom. He loved her but she never seemed to return that love.

_**And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?**_

He always tried to cover that fact that he had bruises on his arms were his mother had hit him, usually with the glass bottle she held in her hand. He wanted so badly to help her but he didn't know what to do, he couldn't tell his dad, in fear that he would send her away but he didn't not want to tell his dad about what she was doing to him. He just couldn't figure it out.

He wanted so badly to make things right, back to the way they used to be, when he didn't feel empty or hurt inside, when he felt like something in the world actually mattered, when his mom loved him. He knew that drinking problems were difficult to get rid of but he couldn't handle how his mom was acting. He would clean up after her, put her to bed when his dad wasn't home, wash the glasses she used…he didn't want that anymore.

He was on the verge of depression but he wasn't going to give up, not yet. He was going to fix his mom's problem and he would do whatever it took to do so. He didn't want to cry himself to sleep every night that his mom would just pass out in the living room; he wanted her to give him a goodnight kiss or a hug at the least. He wanted her back; he was going to do anything just to fix her.

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

When she was asleep or passed out he would empty the bottles of liquor he could find down the drain, to try and prevent her from finding more. Maybe if she didn't have any booze left, she would stop drinking, but he found out that that was not the case, she would do anything to get a drink even if it meant searching in the cellar. When she found out what he had been doing she would just beat him the same.

He couldn't find a way to stop her from drinking, it would get more and more serious and he just couldn't cope. He tried talking to her about it but she wouldn't listen, sometimes she would just drop down to her knees and cry just like he would do every night. He would try so hard to fix her but just couldn't find a way to get into her head.

_**And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
"Just what your worth"**_

He couldn't handle the pain that she was causing him so he thought if he were to cause pain to her, not physically but caws her pain inside maybe that would change her perspective on things. He would try several things but none of them seemed to get to her. He couldn't take it anymore, he was so depressed, he could only think of one other way to get inside her head.

"_Mom, you're not only hurting yourself but everyone around you too!" he yelled, "You can't keep doing this!" he cried, "Do you seriously want to turn out like Ryan's mom and have me run away!" _

It seemed logical for him to think about running away seeing all the pain she had put him through. He would wait though, just to see if what he had said got inside her drunken head. He couldn't imagine all the things running through her mind seeing as his own mind was completely jumbled up.

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
**_

What he had said hadn't helped but seemed to have made things worse. She would just lock herself away and wouldn't come out for days, she wouldn't eat nor would she sleep, she would only drink. He would watch her as she sat on the floor, a bottle of whisky in hand, the curtains shut and her hair a mess.

He rummaged through the bathroom cabinet and found a bottle of sleeping pills. He couldn't even look at her anymore; he wouldn't look at her anymore. She was almost as scary as a monster in a comic book, something had taken over her and it wasn't leaving without a fight, but who would be the hero to help fight away what she had become?

He knew he couldn't do it, he felt helpless, worthless, unwanted and forgotten.

_**  
Tears stream, down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace   
Tears stream down your face and I...  
**_

He looked around for some vodka; it wasn't too hard to find some around his house. He locked himself in his room. He took a long swing of the hard liquor and it burned as it went down his throat. He popped the lid off of the bottle of sleeping pills and poured about 15 into his hand. He took another gulp of the vodka clearing his throat.

He put all the pills in his mouth and swallowed them with the vodka. He wanted to fall asleep and never wake up to see the site of his drunken mother again. He thought that maybe if she knew why he had done this she would stop, but he would've taken the pills anyway, depression is not something that is easy to deal with.

His eyes blurred and he felt as though he was spinning around in circles even though he was sitting on the floor. His eyelids felt heavy and soon he was no longer able to keep them open. His eyes shut, but he was still barely awake.

"_I love you," he whispered.__****_

Tears stream, down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face and I...  


Before he could even try to wake up he had collapsed onto the floor, motionless, asleep. In his dream everything was well, his mom had stopped drinking and things were normal again. He was happy in his dream nothing disturbed the peace anymore. In his dream he was outside with his family and everyone was laughing and having a great time.

His mom no longer had dark bags under her eyes, her hair was shiny and combed, her outfit was no longer her nightgown and in her eyes anyone could tell she was happy. The dream was slowly beginning to fade away and just before it went completely black his mom was walking towards him, a smile on her face.

"I love you Seth," she said and it went black. He never woke up._****_

Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you.

…

**I hope you liked it! Please Review, always appreciated ******


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